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Archive for February 17th, 2009

Girly Blog: The weighty thoughts of the over 40s

Posted by indigodream on 17 February, 2009

Monday 16th February

I’ve been reading greygal’s recent musings and have, with the greatest affection, been wondering about what is it about being over 40 that prompts these grand designs. I’m afraid that I’m no different and my diary has its own crop ofย  ‘post-40’ aspirations.

When I was 39 I made a frantic list of ‘things to do’ before I got to 40. It was a gargantuan task and predictably enough I didn’t achieve a single thing. Then, the day after my 40th birthday a small miracle happened – all my giant plans fell away to be replaced by a tremendous sense of relief at a milestone safely negotiated and a vague sense of hope for the years ahead.

So, on my 40th birthday I ditched the ‘to-do’ list and made myself a more gentle ‘way I’d like to live’ list.

Here it is (with progress to date):

1. keep growing my hair as long as it will go (Even if people say middle-aged women should have short hair! My fantasy is to have waist-length hair – I may have to live another 20 years at least in order to get there)

2. maintain weight/fitness and improve if possible (100% success – I have managed to maintain a constant state of overweightness and unfitness) ๐Ÿ™‚

3. enjoy a more balanced life between work/study and play (this one’s going well thanks to Indigo Dream and to being self-employed)

4. Finish my diploma and keep studying (Diploma done and CIPD qualification almost there)

5. Think about music and where it fits into my life (Biggest success of all. For the last year I’ve run a small village singing group. The group get such a profound experience from it which goes way beyond the notes on the page. I believe this to be one of the most satisfying and valuable things that I do)

6. Take time off for whatever – holidays, friends (doing much better with this one, especially keeping in touch with my cousins, but still room for improvement)

7. Think about learning a new skill or hobby (I’ve learned how to blog, oh, and how to pay vet’s bills, and how to fill in pet insurance claim forms).

8. Finish the tapestry that I started 16 years ago and keep stitching (two-thirds done – better not rush it….)

9. Live kindly and treat people with care (I can’t judge this one but I do try, with varying degrees of success) ๐Ÿ™‚

I also try to support my more energetic friends and colleagues who are busy trekking across impossible landscapes for charity. I reckon that there has to be a karmic balance between those that trek and those that pay ๐Ÿ™‚

There are many things that have given me great pleasure and satisfaction (not least Richard, Blue and Lou) since I wrote that list over five years ago. I don’t write lists any more but on reflection the one I wrote on my 40th birthday was a good foundation for living the unimaginable future that’s unfolding every day.

Anyway, enough of this faux philopsophy. Here’s a poem that I hope will give you hope:


Sometimes things don’t go, after all

from bad to worse. Some years, muscadel

faces down frost; green thrives; the crops don’t fail,

sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well

A people sometimes will step back from war;

elect an honest man; decide they care

enough, that they can’t leave some stranger poor.

Some men become what they were born for.

Sometimes our best efforts do not go

amiss; sometimes we do as we meant to.

The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow

that seemed hard frozen; may it happen for you

Sheenagh Pugh

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