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Dog Blog: Dear Baxter and Muttley…..

Posted by indigodream on 28 January, 2010

Nb Matilda Rose,

Somewhere on a canal,


28th January 2010

Dear Baxter and Muttley

We’ve been giving Boots on nb Bones some excellent tips about dog-training classes but we thought your advice was the best of all….

There are 2 approaches 2 these ‘classes’. The first approach is to do everything she asks, first time, everytime. This boosts her public ego, wins you loads of treats (although we agree you should get an upgrade in the treat dept), and makes you so adored that you get away with murder the rest of the time. The alternative,if you really hate it, is pee on the floor and growl at the other dogs. Be consistent and she’ll get slung out. Love Baxter & Muttley”

We want to report that we tried your methods this evening and they’re the business. Because Lou is top dog she really snarled at this excited thing that came up and sniffed her bottom – the cheek of it! She was very ferocious but she didn’t bit his bum coz we though that might be taking it too far.

I, in the meantime, managed a spectacular wee on the floor and all up the wall but I didn’t get a treat for it – why not?

Mum says we have to go back next week but, like you said, we have to be consistent. Mum says she’s stressed and has had to have a beer – give it another week and I think we’ll have our Thursday evenin’ free for snoozing again.

Yours sincerely

Blue and Lou

9 Responses to “Dog Blog: Dear Baxter and Muttley…..”

  1. Matilda Rose said

    Hi Blue and Lou,

    Don’t forget consistency is the name of the game, couple of more sessions like your last one and she’ll be slung out and you get your evening back.
    Someone called me mischievous looking yesterday and I got confused because my mum said if I was a human I would be ‘Just William’ my names Muttley! will these humans ever learn? especially as Floyd and Fletcher’s owner keeps calling me Mudlark. No wonder I am schizophrenic.

  2. indigodream said

    We’ll try to remember, but we’re knackered today – all this concentration takes it out of you!

    We have to keep going tho’ – the woman at the class says we have to do a test in April – don’t know what that is but it can’t be good……

    Blue (Lou’s too asleep to reply)

  3. Matilda Rose said

    Ah …. the test. That will be the good citizen test-this must be avoided at all costs. This test is no real problem, but once you achieve it your mum will go competition mad. Before you know it you’ll be on the obedience trail.. you’ve got to get out of there guys; keep peeing and keep growling or else chill time will be lost and gone forever.. be very afraid. Love Muttley.

  4. Molly said

    Ah you’re a bunch of pussys. If you behaved yourselves like I do you wouldnt be in classes in the first place. Wise up, behave and they leave you alone.


  5. indigodream said

    Muttley, you’re so right, mum’s eying up the agility course already…..

    Molly – ooooh er, hark at you!

  6. Boots said

    To be fair Molly is VERY well behaved, but she smells.

    Mum says we are going to do bronze (I am already bronze coloured but she hasn’t noticed) and then flee the training classes..that is what she says, but I wonder if its a trick… hmmm…

    Fortunately I am not at class this week – woo hoo! I am spending the weekend in my basket… I mean visiting friends.

  7. indigodream said

    Dear Boots

    We have not met Molly but have met the big thing called Maffi. We gave him a good sniff but don’t think he was smelly and he seemed well behaved so no doubt Molly had very little work to do.

    Don’t like the sound of this bronze thing, well we don’t like anything that does not involve running fast or checking out our duvets. We have tried being good so lets hope that Baxter’s & Mutley’s tactics work before the rot really sets in, they sure did shock our big things snigger snigger … If not then hopefully we will pick up more hints from your blog

    Blue & Lou

  8. Molly said

    Ooooo you’ll upset him. There is no ‘e’ in Maffi.

  9. indigodream said

    Shhh don’t tell him, we might get sent to spelling classes next.

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