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Dog Blog: Lynx’s Diary

Posted by indigodream on 11 March, 2011

Thursday 8th March

Last Week

Six hounds on deck - woz never 7 coz Ty's to scared to look. Mummy Sue sez there's always a doggy bottom in the picture - why can't we have six doggy faces?

I’s bin qwite busy since I last rote me diary. Mummy sue sez  “get up you lazy lot” she sez “spring is springing – time to stop hibernatin”

Hibernatin’ – we’s not hibernatin’, we’s retired, we’s ‘sposed to be like this all the time. But there’s no hescape when mummy Sue’s got a bee in her bonnet so me an’ Lou got hauled out for long walks in the countryside. Ty duzn’t have to come coz he’s still lame – so when me and Lou are bein’ bundled into the car he’s bundling himself up in mummy Sue’s duvet. On Wednesday we’s gone back to the first ever walk I dun when I came to live here. I walked all nice wif mummy Sue an’ Lou did big rummaging. Now, when I’s in trainin’ class, mummy Sue wants me to walk ‘heel free’, but when I’s out on walks she wants me to rummage like Lou – hu-mums, there’s no pleasin’ them! I did have a little run after a wabbit – that woz hexcitin’ – tho’ I woz cery careful not to catch it in case it bit back! I ‘ad a tiny rummage before goin’ back to mummy Sue – she sez I’s a mummy’s boy through an’ through.

Mummy Sue sed that Lou could give me rummaging lessons, but she sed I musn’t copy Lou when she’s showing cheeky Westie dogs who’s boss….

I’s hexcelled in dog trainin’ this week – we did the “go to bed” command – I woz much better at goin’ to bed than the collies wot just want to race round bein’ helpful. Bossy Barbara wot runs the class woz impressed – she sed to the bouncy collies “see ‘go to bed’ must be eezy peezy if Lynx can do it” –  cheek! I done “touch” and “send away” too, tho my favrit is ‘go to bed’ – I woz so good at it I just done ‘go to bed’ wotever mummy Sue woz tellin’ me to do. In the end I sed “tell you wot, mummy Sue, shall I just stay in my bed so’s you can rest your voice”……

Coz it’s spring, mummy Sue is eatin’ ice cream – I loves ice cream but is hard to get some coz I can’t open the freezer door. But Ty came to the rescue – I thought that if I licked mummy Sue’s cornetto just a little bit then she’d just give me the cone. But mummy Sue was despirit for ice cream so she pretended she hadn’t seen me an’ carried on eatin’. Ty had a quiet word wif me, he sez “bruv, you need some serious slobber before she’ll let go o’ that treet”. He went up to mummy Sue’s chair like he woz goin’ to give her a nice cuddle then quick as flash we give the cornetto a huge slobbery lick. Mummy Sue sed “ughhh” but she woz too soppy to throw the cone away so Ty got the last quarter – see, crime always pays. Coz we got no passports, Ty don’t need to learn more langwidges but he’s says that he’s got a hitalian aria to sing…..

“Just one cornetto, it’s not enuff, delishus ice cream, is luvly stuff,

I needs two, deer mummy sue, get me another, and I’ll love yoooooo”

The potential olympic synchronised lookin' team getting into formation....

The weekend

Mummy Sue and Richard left us all by ourselves on Saturday and I slept on their bed all day reely missed them. But guess wot, GUESS WOT, they’s bought me four new trees! They’s planted in the big field and I’s so hexcited – coz now I’s got extra things to wee on and sumtimes wabbits and whatnot hide behind trees so we can have a proper hadventure lookin’ for them. Mummy Sue sez we’s got to be careful and we got to run round the new tress and and not headfirst into them – sorry, mummy Sue, I duzn’t understand the point of that at all…..

OK, last weekend I’ll admit I woz a bit lonely wifout me pack, but mummy Sue’s just gone too far….. On Sunday we’s got on the boat wif Ty an’ Lou, so far so good; THEN two more hounds came – ooh it woz Ranger and Miffy – I qwite fancies Miffy; THEN two mad spaniels, Max an’ Hugo turned up. Huh, no chance of bein’ lonely today then. I woz worried that there’s be hardly any room on deck, but woz ok coz the spaniels is ‘space-saving’ dogs wot fitted underneaf us hounds like them nest o’ table thingies. Spaniels do talk a lot – Max went “rooooooo” all day long, then Ranger sang along wif the chorus – wot a racket!

Me an’ Bren woz brilliant at synchronised lookin’ last weekend so I thought it should be a new ‘lympic sport for hounds. It wood be so hexcitin – like there’s the solo look, the duo and the team – we’s wood win paws down! Is got to be new for 2012, coz not all ‘lympic stadiums can take the boats wot is essential for the sport!

We went to the ‘lympics today and Richard tried to get a photo of us there, but I woz feelin’ very pafetic. I woz walking along when all of a sudden me leg wozn’t working prop’ly so I walked slower and slower then I stopped. Mummy Sue came and sed “poor poor Lynx” – “that’s more like it”, I thought, then she rubbed me leg better. I gots lots of sympafy on account of me hobblin along and looking sad – oh course, I wozn’t hobblin’ when we woz doing fun stuff, like chargin’ round the garden.

The team at the 'lympics - we's goin' to need smart 'lympic coats for the opening ceremony (tho mummy Sue sez that dog teams isn't invited - huh?).

But scared boy Ty got the most sympafy – he woz looking tragic all day long  – he woz the most mizrable hound I’s ever seen – he woz too scared to do weein’, which is the best bit about bein’ a boy dog. Miffy liked Ty lots and tried to do duvet cuddles wif him but he woz too scared to take hadvantage – silly boy!

The humans left us at lunchtime – they looked at us, then the spaniels – we woz getting on reely reely well – the spaniels woz doin’ spaniel stuff and we woz doin’ hound stuff – hokay dokay! But they decided to lock the spaniels away in the front of the boat and us hounds at the back (wif the sofa, of course). We’s all settled nicely – first me an’ Lou woz on the sofa, then me an’ Ranger woz on the sofa – uh oh, Lou wozn’t too happy wif that; nice Miffy stayed well out of it on her duvet an’ Ty just hid in the corner on his duvet. We reelly need a bigger sofa so that me, Lou and Ranger can share. The spaniels didn’t like bein’ locked away – they complained the whole time – they’s got too much energy and us hounds never got a wink of sleep all day long.

We gots lucky tho – we had to stay on the boat coz the rest’rant woz too posh for hounds – WOT? But it wozn’t too posh to mess up the food so we got a big doggie-bag of leftovers – woz pork skin wot hadn’t been crisped up prop’ly and it still had bristles sticking out of it – yum yum yum!

This week…

I woz well hexhausted when we got home from the boat – we duzn’t have a sofa at home but our duvets looked lushus. But we’d hardly been asleep for 12 hours when mummy Sue and Richard bundled us into the car and left us wif Nanny Renia. Mummy Sue woz doin’ proper work so we had to work too – protectin’ nanny Renia from skwirrels. But I is retired – I’s had a long chat wif mummy Sue about it so we had a proper rest for the rest of the week – we slept and we snoozed and we sunbathed then we snoozed some more – ummmmm – woz luvverly.

It woz Ty’s turn to go to dog trainin’ on Tuesday but he’s still lame, so Richard took Lou to agility instead. Mummy Sue and Richard woz convinced that Lou would like agility, but no, she thought it woz a big bother and them 6″ jumps is way too high, not like the garden wall wot we jumps over at home wot is 2′ 6″ high. Wot Lou did enjoy woz bossing all the other dogs and showin’ them who woz in charge – we knows she dun this reely well coz she bossed us around when she got home – she’s one sassy lady!

Auntie Greygal, that’s Ranger and Miffy’s mum, sez my ritin’ is gettin’ much better, “well, I does live in Surrey now, dahling” I sed…..

Me weekend holeeday snaps….

I likes to keep an eye on fings when we're cruising....

Ranger an' Lou - Ranger's lookin' sad coz the humans woz eatin' all day long and we hardly has nuffink, 'cept for hot chikkin and leftover pork rinds - 'snot fair!

Lou an' Ranger doin' synchronised lookin' - could be a new olympic sport.....

And a close-up - they's a handsome pair....

There could be a solo synchronised lookin' event - Miffy could get a medal....

Miffy an' Ranger heard mummy Sue opening a plastic bag in the cabin.....

Oooh, is it food in that bag? Sorry Ranger and Miffy - it wozn't!

Poor Ty just lay on his duvet an' worried 'bout stuff - he's such a scaredy boy but at least he likes his boat duvet - is extra fluffy for wusses....

Lou got a bit fed up wif all these hounds on her territory...

Max the spaniel - see - they's just little enuff to walk underneaf us!

Me doin' me lock-keeper work at Old Ford Lock - I's can supervise prop'ly from up here... BW are looking for volunteer lockies but I reckon a lockie should be paid big stakes.

"Mind yer line Mummy Sue, you needs to come away from that bank or the bywash will catch you" - how did she ever manage wifout me hinstructions?

Happy Days! Greygal, Ranger and Miffy enjoyin' the view at Old Ford Lock - they's could relax coz I's in charge o' lockin'

All good in that lock....

An' a quick check on the other side...

All aboard.....

Hugo the spaniel - much better view when there's no giant hounds in the way!

So cute - I luves you Miffy!

Mummy Sue luvs Ranger - she kept giving him big cuddles - is ok tho coz I know she luvs me more.....

Just catching a few zzzzzzz's

Even spaniels has to stop movin' sometimes!

Ranger lives wif five other hounds so he's used to bein' used as a pillow!

Ummmm, comfee rump Ranger!

2 Responses to “Dog Blog: Lynx’s Diary”

  1. Greygal said

    I do think Ranger and Lou make a fine couple! Well done, Lynx, another excellent diary entry – I’d say you’re more prodigious than Pepys!

  2. indigodream said

    All those photos of Ranger cuddling up to Lou and she never went to bite his bum – must be a record! They do look good together.

    Lynx says ‘fanks’ – he likes getting positive feedback, though he’s trying not to let it go to his head – he knows he’s a superstar – the blog readership roughly doubles when he’s published his diary! Luckily he says he’ll still let me blog about the boat – even though it is pretty lame in comparison to his adventures 🙂

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