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Archive for April 11th, 2011

Dog Blog: Lynx’s diary

Posted by indigodream on 11 April, 2011

Monday 11th April

How mummy Sue likes our beds - all neat 'n tidy wif no crumbs on the floor (tho' Ty's making amends wif that gravy bone....)

Me friends will remember that I woz a bit stiff last time I dun ritin’.

Well, I’s bin tryin’ to keep it quiet, but the uvver day I woz trying Ty’s new bed out for size and I sed “Yip!” – mummy Sue gives me a look but I sez “is nuffink”…..

Then I’s tried lyin’ in me own bed and I sed “Yip” – mummy Sue give me a look but I sez “is nuffink”…..

Then I’s tried lyin’ in Lou’s bed and I goes “owwwww owwwww” –

BIG mistake coz them mummy Sue bundles me in the car and off we goes to the vet.

I’s had to see a man vet wot stuck his thumbs in me back – ouch ouch ouch.  The vet man is mega-stupid – he sed “I’ll just check Lynx’s temperature – that’ll relax him a bit then I’ll check his back again” – WOT? Like having a thermometer stuck up me bum is relaxin’ – I’s hid behind mummy Sue then I’s hid behind a girlie student wot woz there speshaly for me to do big greyhound leaning on. Anyhoo, I’s pulled a muscle in my back and in my hip – I is very sore and I’s havin’ to stay at home an’ rest. Mummy Sue sed we couldn’t do boatin’ and she let me off dog trainin’ coz I woz a bit pafetic about jumpin’ into the car – result! Is a bit tragic tho’ coz I can’t get up to the back garden coz I’s too sore to jump over the back wall – oh sure, there’s steps an’ a ramp – mummy Sue keeps sayin’ “walk round to the steps” but that’s like, 3 feet further to walk – huh!

So, I’s bin the vet on Tuesday, then on Wednesday  it woz Lou’s turn – she’s bin a bit grumpy – no wonder – her man vet prodded her until she went “owwwwww”, then he did the whole vampire thing and tooks her blood. Lou wozn’t happy, so when she went for a walk down the High Street she kept poking her nose in shop doors and used her hypno-powers to get the shop assistants to give her fuss an’ sympafy. Mummy Sue had just found out how much Lou’s blood tests cost, so she had to have a sit down wif a BIG coffee – Lou had some Costa tap water – is much better than ordinary water! Then mummy Sue took Lou to the physio – Lou luves the physio – she had a luvverly massage and fell asleep for almost a whole hour wrapped in a warm magnet blanket. Mummy Sue sed she could have a whole spa day for the price on one doggie physio session – Lou opened one eye and gave her a look – ev’ryone knows that happy dogs makes happy owners so if mummy Sue spends money on US then is like a 2 for 1 offer!

Then on Thursday it woz Ty’s turn to go back to the vet – he definitely duzn’t need a CAT now but he did gets to see the wabbits in Pets at Home. Ty met a nice lady greyhound at Pets at Home – she’s called Grace and we sumtimes sees her down the park – Grace is all soft and luvverly – she give Ty a big cuddle and Grace’s mum gave Ty a cuddle and anuvver lady wot has five greyhounds at home gave him a cuddle as well. Fing is, Ty duzn’t see the wabbits coz he’s such a scaredy wuss boy and he duzn’t like cuddles either – why duzn’t mummy Sue take me to Pets at Home – I luves cuddles, and wabbits…..

How we likes our beds - all higgledy piggledy an' covered in crumbs - that's better!

Now that mummy Sue’s got nuffink else to do ‘cept look after us, she’s bin busy workin’ out how scaredy wuss jelly boy Ty can get comfy on the boat – see when he’s all jelly shakin’ he shakes himself right off his duvet! So mummy Sue’s got him a new snuggly boat bed – is all soft and squashy wif big comfy sides for curlin’ up in. But mummy Sue is daft, she’s only bought a large one but we need hextra large – is a bit inadeqwate but Ty can make it work – he can curl his bum into the new bed, then he curls his front into his uvver bed then he rests his front paws on a duvet. Mummy Sue sez at this rate she’ll have to buy a wider boat just to make room for Ty’s beds!

Ty’s bin a happy happy hound at home – he luves home – mummy Sue is very happy when Ty is all big an brave – on Sunday he just sat around while daddy Richard used his big noisy hedge trimmers to do the garden – wot a himprovement. Ty was almost brave when we went to daddy Richard’s office too, so maybe we’s will have to stop calling him a wuss jelly boy soon….

Ty’s bin a very good boy this week – he’s dun helping mummy Sue to unpack shopping from the back of the car – she sez he’s very helpful when it comes to gettin’ stuff out of the boot but he’s not so good at putting stuff away in the cupboards. Honestly, wot is the point of puttin’ stuff in cupboards – we’s can ‘store’ fings in our tummies! Today Ty thought he’d help mummy Sue to put away a pack of chocolate digestives – he sneeked the pack into his bed and he scoffed half of them before she noticed. He tried to look innocent but his bed woz covered in incriminating crumbs, so Ty thought “uh oh” an’ legged it wif wot woz left of the packet. He ran round and round the house wif mummy Sue in hot pursuit but she cornered him by Lou’s bed and took the rest of the bicuits off him. Now, we hounds duzn’t have food dilemmas – we just sees it and eats it – but mummy Sue woz looking at these biscuits – they woz delishus and she really wanted to eat them herself, on the uvver hand, they woz covered in a serious amount of slobber – Ty said she could give them back to him coz he duznt mind a bit of slobber, but in the end she put them in the bin instead. Is important lesson for all of us – you’s can steal anyfink and mummy Sue will just larf, but you mustn’t come between mummy Sue and chocolate – I’s sure she woz mutterin’ “Battersea Dogs’ Home” when she woz chucking her lushus biscuits in the bin…..

That duzn't look like evidence to ME mummy Sue - after all, those crumbs duzn't look anyfink like chocolate digestives...

Is springing outside so we gots up early one mornin’ and had a big houndie commotion right to the bottom of the garden – mummy Sue woz larfin’ and she sed “good boy” coz Ty woz runnin’ back top the house with a grey fluffy thing wot mummy Sue though woz one his toys – mummy Sue likes it when he brings his toys back in from the garden coz it saves her a job. Only this weren’t no toy – it was a HOOGE dead rat wot he’d picked up – so mummy Sue went “EEEEEEK” and shut the door in his face. Poor Ty, he duzn’t unnerstand at all – he woz bringing a grey fluffy playfing back to his bed – is not his fault if mummy Sue has unreasonable rat prejudice!

We’s all bin so helpful this week – mummy Sue an’ daddy Richard dun DIY this weekend – they woz diggin’, so Lou dun diggin’ too – a big greyhound sized hole – she put the soil all over the paving – it looked much better there!

Woz good this mornin’ coz mummy Sue went to the vet all by herself – maybe we could always just send her and stay at home ourselves – but she sez ‘no’ – she woz picking up some antibiotics for Lou wot has got a kidney infection. Mummy Sue sez that after this week’s vet visits she’s got no change from 500 squids. Squids? Is that wot woz in the pond? That sounds like far too many – good riddance to the squids sez I……….

So we’s basic’ly had a luvverly week at home – we’s all on tablets so we’s eating lots of ham and creem cheese – yum yum. Mummy Sue’s bin doin’ a lot of mutterin’ – is like havin’ an annoyin’ bee buzzin’ in yer ear all day long!

Daft questions wot mummy Sue keeps mutterin’ about…..

  • “I wonder what I’d use my money for if I didn’t have hounds”
  • “Would my computer work better without a great hound head lying slobbering on the keyboard”
  • “Why do you have to splash water all over the floor when you’re drinking”
  • “Why can’t they invent a telly remote control that works when there’s a sodding great greyhound standing in front of it?”
  • “If you hounds can learn to open doors then why can’t you learn to close them behind you?”…………..

There you are mummy Sue, almost ready for planting your little flowers, sorry, big trees.....

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