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Archive for May 16th, 2011

Dog Blog: Lynx’s diary

Posted by indigodream on 16 May, 2011

Wednesday 11th May

The A team - from the front - Beren, Ranger, me an' Henry...

Ooh, mummy Sue sez our whole life is just a soap opera – yuck, I duzn’t like soap and if opera is wot mummy Sue keeps warblin’ then I duzn’t like that eifer.

I’s fancy bein’ more of an hadventure, superhero type fing -a bit like the fantastic four, ‘cept we’s three – you knows, me as the clever quiet handsum one – me superpower is me hypno-stare wot makes humans do me bidding; Lou’s gotta be the kick-ass girlie hero type – her superpower is bein’ sassy, and there’s Ty, the fick one wot is comic relief, like scooby-doo. Then, oh course, we’s got our friends wot visits – ‘specially my babes – Miffy, Sharry and Bess – mmmmm…..

I woz thinkin’ that David could ‘Rooooo” the tune wots at the beginnin’ so that everyone would know when to watch….

Mummy Sue sez we’s more like Enid Blyton heroes coz we always likes to be home for tea….

Hepisode one…..

Where I shows my sensitive side an’ reminds mummy Sue of her grand-daddy.

Himagine a boat, wif greyhounds, and green stuff an’ locks…..

I’s been lurnin’ about mummy Sue’s grandaddy – he used to say that if you goes somewhere, then you has to come back a diff’rent way if you can. Soo, I woz bein’ a good boy an’ followin’ daddy Richard’s bike up an’ down the locks – I’s got to make sure he’s doin’ them prop’ly. Well, he goes up to one lock and I follows him then he goes down again so I’s spotted a new paf – across the road. I goes up to the road and I looks left, then right, then I just crossed over coz I’s the handsum hero, and cars always stops for handsum heroes! Well, wot a commotion – I gots to the uvver side and there woz daddy Richard – he woz a funny colour – I fink he woz havin’ a heart attack – he thought I’d be run over. He bundled me back on the boat.

I sez to mummy Sue

“I’s a good boy, why’s I back on the boat”

She sez “coz you gave us the biggest fright of our lives – we luves you too much for you to be squashed by a car”

“humph” I sez “I woz just doin’ wot your grandaddy did – is herediterary – I’s got his jeans”

But mummy Sue sez you can’t get jeans by adoption….

So you duzn't believe that we have hypno-powers.....

Wot, I’s adopted, I though you woz my mummy…..

Hepisode Two….

The one where sassy Lou gets to show her superpowers

Himagine a pub garden by a canal wif lots of doggies just sittin’ nice an’ quiet….

We’s all happy hounds coz mummy Sue promised to get us sum sosidges so we’s bein’ hextra good and quiet. But then this mad Staffie squiggles outta his collar an charges up to Lou and attacks her wif his teef – eek! Mummy Sue woz very useless coz she put her hand out to stop him but the staffie bit her – huh, so much for her leadership superpowers. But Lou duzn’t put up wif this sorta thing, so when the staffie went for her froat she just got stuck in and flipped him over and went for his froat – ha ha, I bet he weren’t hexpecting that Mr Staffie! Anyhoo, the staffie’s mu-mum took him away and Lou, bein’ a super-hound, didn’t have a single scratch – yay! Mummy Sue woz bleedin all over the place so I’s cuddled up to her and I gives her my best hypno-stare – “what you need is to give me a big fuss – that’ll make you feel loads better” – she forgot her hurty bite straight away and stroked my ears and fed me sosidges – I is so fantastic!

Oh course, I can sees you finking “if you’s so fantastic why didn’t you defend mummy Sue” but that’s Lou’s superpower – she duz the physical stuff and I do the mind fings – d’oh!

ps. Lou woz vankwished by two vampire vets wot took her blood, so we’s need anuvver sassy lady greyhound wif vampire slayer sooper-powers; any nice lady greys called buffy out there?

pps. We’s can provide good-ish home wot is better than kennels…..

ppps. apply to me direct – mummy Sue duzn’t need to know…..

Hepisode Three

Where Ty’s bein pafetic – as per spec…..

Sassy lady Lou...

Ty’s bin very helpful this week – mummy Sue’s always letting the wind perm her hair so is always a bit of a mess – not worthy of a boatful of super-hounds. So Ty grabbed her hairbrush and helped her to get the brush strokes right – she wozn’t very happreciative but Ty persevered – is a hard life. Then Ty borrowed mummy Sue’s hairbrush, coz he sed it needed less bristles and more tooth marks for fine combing – he got yelled at big time – hu-mums are soooo ungrateful…..

Then he had lots of scaredy wuss boy sort of hadeventures – he cut his foot, then he fell in the canal – hee hee hee! But then he cut his leg big time – too much bro – you wants little cuts for sympafy not big bandages. Then the vet sed he is poor hound wot duzn’t have enuff soft beds. Well, it’s obvious innit, we’s totally neglected – I mean mummy Sue gives us dog food and sumtimes we only gets one hot chikkin between us in a whole week – and now the vet sez we hazn’t got enuff duvets – see! So, here’s mummy Sue’s skool report – B minus – must try harder…..

Hepisode Four

Where I loses the luv of my life…..

I luves Miffy – shes reeelly dainty and pretty and she duzn’t wear me out wif leanin’ on me back – she’s a proper babe to share all me hadventures wif. But, BUT, she prefers Beren – he is more like her age and he’s a loverly brindle – they’s went off and had hadventrues all down the locks at Stockton – I’s had to have hadventures all by meself. Huh, babes are so flighty…..

Stills from me hadventure movie…..

Beren the brave....

See, I's the clever, dignified, handsum one....

Me and Miffy - oh Miffy.....

Lou and Beren makes a much better pair...

Two boys an' a girl - gotta be the newer Avengers!

Ty pretendin' to be brave....

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