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Dog Blog: Lynx’s Diary

Posted by indigodream on 1 June, 2011

Wednesday 1st June

8am: Duz I look like I wants to do a marathon……?

Well, I’s bin so bizzy I’s hardly had any time to rite at all – I’s dun’ a marathon – a boatin’ marathon wif an holympic looking relay thrown in as well – no wonder I’s hexhausted – an’ I’s dun lots of rummagin’ wif me pals – Auntie Sarah walks an’ walks an’ walks. She eats do’nuts too – we’s all gets sum of her do’nuts but she duzn’t eat our pig’s ears or our chikkin so that’s ok.

On Friday night I woz so sads – Ty an’ Lou went off for a holeeday wif nanny Renia – mummy Sue sez Ty is a jelly boy an’ Lou duzn’t unnerstand when hu-mums lie on her boat bed so they woz banned from the marathon. I is such a good boy that I gets to all the hard work – is sooooo unfair so I’s put on me pafetic face until mummy Sue emptied all the nice things from the fridge into my mouf…..

Now, when we’s at home we likes nice lie-ins – sumtimes Lou duzn’t get up until 2pm in the hafternoon, but on Saturday there woz all alarums at 6am – wot?! I’s got taken for a walk – at 6am – wot??!! By 8am we woz doing locks – daddy Richard sed “Yo Lyxnie boy, how about a nice run up the flight – I can cycle as fast as you can run” – I’s give him me best grin and sed “great idea, you go first”, then when his back woz turned I hopped back onto the boat – I’s not daft!

I’s stayed wif mummy Sue on the boat – she’s not daft eifer – so I woz all fresh when me friends came – there woz Ranger and Henry and, ooooh, a new boy, Archie, but, where’s my Miffy? I’s had plans for Miffy on account of her uvver boyfriends Beren and Ty bein’ well out of the way but she wozn’t there! You know, maybe me an’ Miffy wozn’t meant to be….

I’s had a long chat wif me new friend Archie – Auntie Sarah saved him when just before his hu-dad woz goin’ to the vet to send him to the rainbow bridge – now don’t get me wrong, the rainbow bridge duzn’t sound like a bad place but there’s no rush…….

10am: Henry an’ Archie woz a bit keen….

I’s so glad that Archie woz rescued – he is a good mate for Henry coz Henry is full of beans and now Archie can keep his comp’ny while me an’ Ranger duz lookin’ an’ soopervisin the helm. Auntie Sarah sez that the human crew did a eating marathon and they should get sponsored like pounds per calorie – huh, allright for sum, we’s only had two chikkins between four hounds and they wozn’t hot!

The fing wif a marathon is that it’s marathon – we’s dun lookin’, then more lookin’, then we’s got so tired we’s had to do a lookin’ relay – there woz so much too look at – we’s had to have Henry an’ Archie lookin’ at the front an’ me and Ranger dun lookin’ at the back. If the boat’s movin’ then we’s got to do lookin’ and then when we’s doing locks I’s got to do soopervisin’, ‘specially when mummy Sue’s driving the boat into the lock sooper-fast – Auntie Sarah couldn’t look, but I woz telling mummy Sue wot to do so there wozn’t any crashes. Now, when we duz normal boatin’ we duz maybe 5 hours of lookin’ and 1 hour of rummagin’ and 1 hour of eatin’ then they stops the boat and we duz 14 hours of snoozin’ but today we’s couldn’t do sleepin’ on account of bein’ so bizzy, and they didn’t stop the boat ‘cept at locks, when we did soopervisin’, so it woz a proper hendurance event for houndies. But it woz ok, coz when we stopped they had chinese takeaway for supper – I luves chinese takeaway, BUT the humans woz so hungry they didn’t leave us any leftovers at all – hummmph!

I’s got a confession – it woz 9pm in the night when mummy Sue sez “oh no, cat on the towpath” – she woz wurried that Henry and Archie would jump right off the boat – but we’s didn’t move at all, not even one ear or one paw – we’s had golden hopportunity to bark at a cat an’ we just slept thru it all –  ooooh the shame…..

11.45am: Ranger know that you’s gotta pace yourself on a marathon….

We woz so tired that when we stopped I thought we could get sum sleep, but no, humans is so noisy – first Auntie Sarah and Uncle Andy steeled my bed, then Henry jumped up on the bed an’ didn’t leave any room for me, then Ranger steeled my favrit duvet, then Archie took Ty’s bed an’ I only had two sheepskins, a dog bed and two duvets down by mummy Sue’s bed – that’s never enuff beds for one hound. So I’s dun huffin’ an’ puffin’ and pacin’ but mummy Sue didn’t cum to rescue me so I’s had to lay down on just two sheepskins.

Then uncle Graham makes a racket “phwoar WOT is that smell” he sez “it’s so bad”

“ah that’ll the famus greyhound bottoms” sez Auntie Sarah

“Phwoar” sez uncle Graham, over an’ over again

Then mummy Sue an’ daddy Richard woz larfin and larfin coz they’s at the far end of the boat where there’s no smells at all…..

Then the humans woz snoring…..

Then Archie woz whinin’ coz he’s got stuck under the sofa – he’s only bin a house for a week so he duzn’t know that greyhounds go ON the sofa not UNDER…….

Then mummy Sue gots up to see if Archie woz ok and she woz making a rackets askin’ if he woz h’ok…..

I’s hardly got a wink of sleep when the alarums went off at 4am! Now, is ok for me to wake up at 4am at home when there’s foxes to be seen to, but it NOT ok for humans to get up if I wants to sleep All the humans got up apart from uncle Andy – I luves uncle Andy – he sed rude words at the alarum, so I jumped up onto the bed wif Henry an’ we cuddled up to uncle Andy for a lie-in. But then Auntie Sarah made Uncle Andy get up, an’ then, THEN, she tooks us all for a walk up the locks – was a whole mile, at 4.30am – she woz walkin’ so fast that the boat got left behind an’ I couldn’t ask mummy Sue to take me back….

11.46am: I’s pacin’ meself with Ranger….

By my oosual getting up time, I woz ready for bed again – but wot if we missed sumfink – is such a wurry – we’s need to look but we needs to sleep – wot’s can we do? We’s got a cunning plan – we’s wood watch the humans – if they gots hexcited then we’d get up to look, but if they woz just drinkin’ an’ chattin’ (they duz that lots) when we’s could relax. Me an’ Ranger an’ Archie laid on the back deck – mummy Sue had to scurry to get us enuff beds – she thought that one  bed each would be enuff – har har har! In the end we woz comfy when we had two sheepskins, a pillow an’ a big fluffy dog bed, ooh, and three fluffy blue blankets coz we woz a bit chilly. Henry woz on the sofa – hur hur hur – try THAT when Lou’s on board Henry!

We’s were all runnin’ out of henergies when mummy Sue sed “my caf is open” – I duzn’t know wot a ‘caf’ is but there woz bacon an’ sosidges and steak an’ kibble soaked in jooces from the steak – mummy Sue, why’s didn’t we get this grub before – we’s would have dun a LOT more lookin’ wif sum proper fuel.

We’s got the end of the marathon an’ the mayor an’ mayoress cum to see us – they woz wearin’ fancy chains round their necks but they wozn’t as smart as our collars. We woz very gracious an’ when the mayor waved at us we waved back – wozn’t he lucky….

Mummy Sue sez we’s got lots of muney for greyhounds wot duznt have forever sofas yet so I s’pose I duzn’t mind losing me sleep that much……

After we’s dismissed the mayor, me friends went home and I’s could have a proper sleep – I’s woz so fast asleep mummy Sue had to check I woz still breathing! I woz asleep for all of Sunday night, then Monday morning, then in the car for hours and hours, then at home – home – I luves home – I’s rubbed me face in me favrit duvet then I wents to sleep on it. Daddy Richard sed “do you want to come and fetch Lou an’ Ty?” – I’s just hignored him – I’s in luv wif me duvet….

When Lou an’ Ty got home they sed they’s been bin bizzy too coz they’s been protecin’ nanny Renia from foxes, that’s bizzy but not as bizzy as me..

More of me marathon snaps…..

I’s got half of me piccies here – I’s will put more on me blog wen I’s caught up on me sleeps – zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……

11.54am: Archie’s gettin’ the hang of olympic lookin’….

1.07pm: Deer Auntie Sarah, fank you for rescuin’ Archie so’s he could come runnin’ wif us instead of our old pals at the rainbow bridge…ps. could you rescue a nice girl to be my girlfriend next time….

11.55am: Henry soopervisin’ the new boy….

3.27pm: Henry stickin’ his neck out…..

3.57pm: Me and Ranger are taking it very seriously – honest!!!

3.57pm: We’s teaching Archie how to do boatin’ and relaxin’…

3.58pm: Ev’ryone know we gets our best ideas wen we’s asleep…

4.35pm: Mummy Sue sez Archie is adorable – oh no, how’s I going to get babes now???

5.15pm: Us boys havin’ a manly rummage on the towpaf…

3 Responses to “Dog Blog: Lynx’s Diary”

  1. Lesley Kimantas said

    A great post Lynx, you could teach M. Sue a thing or two…

  2. Greygal said

    Just lovely…Archie says “I is fotogenik so can I be Lou’s kalender boy next time?’

  3. indigodream said

    Cor Archie – I’s so glad that you is spellin’ good already – don’t let Auntie Sarah gie you hooman spellin’…

    Wif Lou, well, mate, you might wanna meet her before you try standin’ close enuff for a photo….

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