Dog Blog: Lynx’s Diary

Wednesday 22nd June

Me soopervisin' fillin' the water tank - water is very important - 'scept wen it's used for b-a-t-h-s...

Aunty Sarah sed I’s couldn’t write a diary if me foot bein’ in a bandij, so I’s taken sum time off to recover from me terrible injuries. I wozn’t hallowed to charge around, wot woz hawful, and don’ even get me started on the whole bandij fing – I’s made a big fuss Saturday before last so mummy Sue took it off an’ I’s got my foot back, but then, THEN, mummy Sue’s made me wear a little sock – pink wif red hearts, then pink wif purple stripes and, I’s so ‘shamed, pink wif brown spots -oh no, me style, me street cred…..

As you knows, Ty is a big wuss jelly boy and I’s had a poorly foot, so Lou got a whole weekend on the boat wif daddy Richard – the boat wonned third prize in the marafon – the one I soopervised. Wozn’t fair reelly, Lou went up an’ got my prize an’ she gots lots of fuss an’ she met my biggest fans while I woz stuck at home wif a stoopid pink sock on me foot! Lucky for me that mummy Sue is so soppy and complet’ly under the control of me amazin’ hypno powers – she got Blondie the vet to leave the bandij off me foot and she sed “poor poor Lynx, maybe you’s can sunbathe in the garden nice an’ quiet” – so I laid down nice an’ quiet then sneeked in a quick charge wen she wozn’t looking – I’s is brilliant….

We’s all bin a bit pafetic this week coz Lou had sum of her fur shaved off – is ok tho’ coz she’s got pretty brindle skin wot is qwite hunoosual. She’s dun greyhound death screams in the vet, even before the boss vet man came near – so he gave some tranquility pills an she hads a scan of her insides – her insides is perfick! Mummy Sue wanted a picture of her insides, but I reckons Lou’s outside is nicer……

Coz we’s bin so pafetic mummy Sue’s cooked us chikkin and liver cake – she sez the liver cake is for dog training classes – wot, sorry, didn’t hear that, mummy Sue.

Lou doin' lock soopervisin'...

She give me that look and sed “wot you need Lynx is a bit of dog training to improve your hearing”

“groooan arooow grooph” sez I……

Hur hur hur – I gots me own back – I’s just bin to dog trainin’ an mummy Sue got told off big time coz I just dun wot I duz best – sleepin’! I’s a hexpert at hu-mum humiliation – she sez I’s still gotta go next week tho’….

Now, I duzn’t like me houndie friends to suffer so here’s a bit of hadvice – free an’ gratis’. If your hu-mum sez “I’s just lookin'” then hide – they is  never “just lookin'” they’s wantin’ to do stuff….. Like, I’s had anuvver tiny cut on me foot this week wot woz nuffink, but mummy Sue spotted it – “Just looking” she sez and I pulled me paw back quick, but she dun lookin’, then got the hantiseptic, and the scissors to trim me fur, then the tweezers – erk – tweezers?! She picked and picked ’til she got a grass seed out of me foot – “just lookin'” –  humph. She cort Lou too – mummy Sue woz strokin’ Lou’s ears all luvverly then she sez “just lookin'” an’ the next minit the cotton wool and ear cleaner comes out. Now Ty’s a bit fick, but he’s genius at scapering wen mummy Sue sez “just lookin’…”

Og allright then, sumtimes I sneeks in a little kip - is hexhaustin' being on lookout all the time...

Woz a lot better this weekend coz we’s back on the boat – I likes the boat coz I gets to sunbathe on deck an’ I gets to rummage wif Lou. Lou is teechin’ me how to do boatin’ like a proper greyhound so now I has a little rummage then a long lie down, then a little rummage then a long lie down – we can’t sleep tho’ – we mights miss sumfink! O course, I’s such a perfick hound that I always comes when I is called – Lou sez “no, no, no, no – if you is comfy then you just waits – they’s too soppy to leave you behind forevva so just chill out”. Is a dilemma – coz they always gets Lou back heventooally, but mummy Sue duz give me nice ear rubs when I’s bin a good boy – hmmmm.

Ty duzn’t do rummaging – he duz big wuss jelly boy fings like looking wurried and walking round mummy Sue ’til his lead is curled like ten times round her knees. Sumtimes he duz random runnin’ off  – is a BIG commotion but he’s a wuss boy not a greyhound so he duzn’t unnerstand stuff like wot me an’ Lou do.

We’s had such a bizzy weekend – we’s dun runnin’ after daddy Richard on the bike – woz hard work but we woz goin’ downhill; then me an’ Lou dun lots of soopervisin’ at the locks – Lou dun soopervisin our boat then she just lay at the lock and soopervised a diff’rent boat. She woz so long soopervisin’ the other boat that daddy Richard had to cycle back to get her – “come on Lynx” he sez “let’s go back up the hill to find Lou”

“I’ll just stop here” I sez – I is not stoopid – run after a bike, wot, like a labrador, uphill – no fanks!

Mummy Sue sez I is cute when I's asleep...

Lou's keepin' an eye on fings while I has a little rest....

Anvva one of Lou - she woz helpin' me lots wif lookin' on Sunday...

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Wot shall we do next - get back on the boat, rummage or lie down....

We'll lie down for a bit...

Lou havin' a little stretch....

And anuuvver one - Lou is a soopermodel...

"Lou-ooooo, come here Lou" - " no, I don't think so, I'm perfectly fine here thanks....."

Here comes the girl....

I duzn't do runnin' uphill...

But we likes runnin' downhill...

Us in a lock - now, houndie friends, do you fink that 3 cushions between two hound is enuff - I duzn't.....

Lou givin' mummy Sue sum directions - hu-mums would never manage wifout us....

Now I's helpin' wif the directions too - is responsible job...

Lou doin' finking....

She's one clever hound coz she can do finkin' an' lookin' all at the same time!

Doin' locks - Lou style....

Doin' a bit of soopervisin'...

Peoples is amazed how good we are at soopervisin'....

Mummy Sue sez this is a perfick mooring for houndies - why? - I duzn't see any cats or skwirrels or wabbits....

"Why don't you pose nicely?" sez mummy Sue - "Huh I IS posing - I's not showin' you me bum...."