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Dog Blog: Lynx’s Diary

Posted by indigodream on 8 July, 2011

Friday 8th July

We’s been doin’ sum serious restin’ since me last post coz mummy Sue sez we’s all going on a proper boatin’ holeeday next week an’ ev’ryone knows you need a holeeday to get ready for a holeeday and you needs anuuver one to recover afterwards!

Ty luves nanny Renia's house....

We’s had BIG funder an’ lightnin’ this week – Lou is not bovvered but I woz a bit curious – after all, it woz so loud it woz like the end of the world, which I ‘spect would be qwite hinterestin’, so I’s asked mummy Sue if I could go out to the garden to watch. Can you believes it, she sed “NO” – but I’s could be missin’ the biggest show on earf – she sed I’d just get soakin’ wet and there was nuffink to see – huh! Ty woz qwite brave – he wozn’t a jelly boy at all tho’ he didn’t fink that the end of the world woz worth watchin’ so he just hid in his den upstairs.

I’s got BIG news, but first you’s got to learn me new song – mummy Sue taught me the tune – is “bread of heaven” wot she sings at the rugby ‘cept I’s got better words – are you ready, hwun, too, free……

“I’s a gen-i-us, I’s a gen-i-us, I’s a genius, yes I am, I’s a gee-nius, yes I am”

I’s a genius becoz I’s finally got mummy Sue to say “Ok Lynx you win, you don’t have to go to dog trainin’ any more” – wheeee!!!!! I hates dog trainin’ – is tot’ly borin’ ‘cept for when mummy Sue is gettin’ yelled at and wen the boss lady tells her to put more garlic in her liver cake – is a waste of me precious henergy. You know my mummy tho’ – she sez I’s havin’ a break until the Autumn, an’ o’ course, she’s got her eye on Ty now – I woods say ‘poor Ty’ but’s all fair in love an’ dog trainin’……

Last weekend we’s had a holeeday at nanny Renia’s – well, I say holeeday – I woz qwite bizzy on patrol for foxes. I duzn’t fink that nanny Renia luves me qwite as much as Lou an’ Ty coz they’s just duz a bit of runnin’ then they lies down. Nanny Renia duzn’t unnerstand wot an himportan job I duz protectin’ her from foxes – ‘specially wen I stays out in the garden ’til 11.30pm. Never mind, mummy Sue is still putty in me paws so is ok.I woz a bit wurried on account of mummy Sue and daddy Richard bein’ on the boat unsoopervised so I’s called in me pals Ranger, Archie, Henry an’ Beren to look after them for me – wot a relief – you can’t let you hu-mums out unsoopervised. Me locum hounds dun a brilliant job but I woz jellus coz they gots ice-cream an’ I didn’t – maybe I’ll gets ice-cream when we’s on holeeday.

I got me detectorin' ears up - where's that critter?

But I had to do a shockin’ hinvestigation this week – me pal Archie felled into the canal – but did he fall, did he jump or was he pushed – I’s dun me best hypno stare and sed “mummy Sue, did you push Archie into the canal wif the barge pole” – “no no” she sez “I’m sure I didn’t, but maybe I can convince you better if I make you some fresh liver cake with extra garlic” – well, that proved she woz innocent – people wot make liver cake for hounds don’t go round pushin’ them into the canal!

I woz qwuite pleezed coz now we can add greyhound divin’ to the olympic events – maybe wen we’re wearin’ our natty life-jackets tho – is divin’ not swimmin’ after all! I’s also seen the telly advert for jumbone wot sez it’s a long-lasting chew – hur hur hur – not in our house. So we’s got to have a houndie ‘lympic sport of speed-eating a jumbone – you’s gonna have to eat quick to beat Henry an’ Ty – Mummy Sue it’s a himpossible event coz they don’t make stopwatches wot measure nano-seconds!

Lou duzn’t like the vets much so why did she go free times this week – she had her blood sucked out, then she had staples, like she woz a piece of paper – mummy Sue sez our skin IS like paper – then Lou’s foot swelled up like a balloon – I woz watchin’, coz havin’ yer foot swell up is a qwik way to get mummy Sue to take the bandij off – I’s will remember that – I duzn’t like bandijes. We’s all had bin to the vampire vet this week – we’s all had our blood sucked out to see if we’s can get passports – if we gets passports then we haz to get bizzy learnin’ langwidges again – I’s like that – I duzn’t know half enuff words for “sosidge” yet!

I only needs one word for “Tripe” tho – is simply the bestest, most lushus stuff ever. So I duzn’t unnerstand why mummy Sue went “EEEEEK” wen she woz defrostin’ the freezer the uvver day – she sed there woz a hunhexploded bomb in the freezer – a whole packet of raw tripe wot she had forgotten. FORGOTTEN – mummy Sue, how coulds you? She’s a bit hysterical wen it comes to tripe so she launched “operation tripe” an’ got daddy Richard onto the case – he had to light the barbecue and she made him cook the tripe in a big frying pan outside while she closed all the doors an’ windows an’ put a peg on her nose. It woz torture – daddy Richard puts the barbecue on one side of the fence and we had to sits and look at it from the uvver side. I sed “it’s bubblin’ – it’s reddy – FEED ME” but mummy Sue sed “20 minutes at the rolling boil to kill all the bugs”. S’not fair – 20 minutes is like, years, we’s whined an’ we wriggled an’ we begged but it woz no good – we’s had to wait for it to cook, then we had to wait for it to cool down. Honestly mummy Sue, a dog’s life isn’t long enuff for tripe, but then we gots fed – 0oooh it woz so good – it is the bestest fing ever. But now I is wurried – mummy Sue sez she’s never ever ever going to cook tripe again – we’s got to make do wif hot chikkin and’ liver cake and haggis’ and leftovers. I needs to work on her – I finks I’ll start me own “operation tripe”….

Henry an' Archie doin' soopervisin' while I's on holeeday wif nanny Renia...

Ranger an' Archie keepin' me sheepies aired while I's on holeeday...

Oi, where MY ice-cream?

We's bizzy....

We's onta sumfink....

Yep - the critter's definit'ly up there somewhere....

Here comes the girl!

Ooh nooo - she's after me tail....

Beren doin' soopervisin' - is very handy to have so many locum hounds to do me hessential duties while I has a rest - maybe we should sets up an agency....

2 Responses to “Dog Blog: Lynx’s Diary”

  1. Judy said

    Hi met you and your lovely hounds at The Bromley Arms beside the canal at Fiskerton. Just really enjoyed reading Ty’s blog, he writes weelly well foor a dog that lurves twipe.
    Lots of love,
    Judy and Damon who doesn’t quite speak dog yet, x

  2. indigodream said

    Hi Judy

    It was lovely to meet you too – it’s always great to talk to other greyhound/galgo fans.

    Sue (on behalf of Lynx.Lou and Ty)

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