Monday 15th August
Lou on holeeday....
Ooh me poor fans, you’s bin crooelly deprived of me hadventures – mummy Sue’s bin usin’ the computer non-stop – I wants my own….
Is dun loadsa stuff since I last wrote me diary – I’s bin on holeeday all over the place, and Is bin at home and I’s had loads of me houndie friends to visit an’ we had a sleepova on the boat. I’s got hexciting news – wen we had a sleepova, Miffy cuddled up to me – I luves Miffy and she luves me – at last! I’s bin qwite lucky wif the laydeez on me hols – I’s had a cuddle wif a dainty little girl called Heidi too, but then we’s had to move on – mummy Sue sez “never mind, holiday romances never last….”
We’s even dun a record – we’s had EIGHT greyhounds on our boat – that’s the most eva – wif top girl Susie – she is well tough!
Ty comed on holeedays wif us but he woz a big scaredy wuss jelly boy and Lou is sad coz she’s not hallowed to do chargin’ around – the vet man sez that her skelington can’t do chargin’ around no more. Vets is so borin’ they is alway sayin’ “yous can’t do….” – that’s no fun…
I’s bin on the towpaf all over the place and I’s bin to Nottingham, an’ to Loncoln an’ to Newark – I’s wee’d on stuff in ev’ry place so’s that ev’ryone would know I’s bin.
Wot I reelly wants to tell you about tho’ is cats – I’s seen lots of cats on holeeday and I’s bin such a good boy – I just dun lookin’ – even wen they woz twitchin’ their tails an’ hissin’ and bein’ reelly annoying – honest! Then, THEN, I woz wanderin’ round the shops in Lincoln mindin’ me own bizziness wen a cat jumped right into my mouf!!!!
I sed “ummf ummf ummf” – mummy Sue thought I was being rude, but I woz actooally sayin’ “get this cat out of me mouf…”
Mummy Sue sez this bridge in Lincoln is my bridge coz she's always askin' "where have you bin, Lynx" and "what have you bin up to?" - how rude...
Lucky for me it jumped right out of me mouf and runned away. Wot a commotion – mummy Sue woz worried about the cat and the cat’s mummy woz wurried about ME – her cat keeps attacking dogs in the street – see, mummy Sue, I TOLDS you it wozn’t my fault!
Mummy Sue kept mutterin’ – “blah blah blah hooligan blah bla blah back to dog training blah blah Lynx….”
I woz a bit sad coz I thought maybe mummy Sue duzn’t love me no more so I goes up her an’ I rubs my face on her leg so’s that she would fuss me ears…
Rub rub rub “I luves you mummy Sue”
Fuss fuss fuss “I love you too Lynx”
Rub rub rub “I really duz loves you mummy Sue”
Fuss fuss fuss “You’re my best lovliest boy Lynx”
Rub rub rub “I’s will always be your best boy mummy Sue”
Fuss fuss fuss, Sniff sniff sniff…..
Mummy’s Sue’s sniffin’ – I woz qwite hinterested – wen we duz sniffin’ we duz wees straight after – I wunder if mummy’s do the same fing?
Rub rub rub “don’t stop fussin’ me mummy Sue”
Fuss fuss fuss, Sniff sniff sniff SNIFF…………… “AWW YOU REVOULTING’ HOUND YOU’RE COVERED IN COW POO AND SO AM I NOW – WAAAAAH”
Me an' Lou hexplorin' Newark....
Well, daddy Richard come runnin’ to see wot the fuss woz all about and mummy Sue made him drive the boat while she gots the dog shampoo and a big towel. She scrubbed me neck ’til all the cow poo woz all gone an’ she washed me collar – so I’s woz naked! I duzn’t unnerstand hu-mums at all – I luves cow poo and I woz only tryin’ to get her to smell nice like wot I duz…..
She sed I couldn’t go wifout a collar so I’s had to wear the harness of shame wot Ty boy wears to show ev’ryone that he’s a big wuss jelly boy, an’ Lou wears it to show she’s an old girl, but I is bold, I is in my prime – pleeze don’t make me wear it mummy Sue. But she woz mutterin’ again – she sez if I duzn’t wear sumfink then people might fink I is not luved an’ take me to the dogs home and mummy Sue duz luv me loads reelly.
Anyhoo, I woz feelin’ a bit mis-hunderstood and hunhappreciated – if mummy Sue sez I’s a desperado hooligan then that’s wot I better be. I’s got on the forums an’ I hasked me houndie friends to join me gang for a raid on Pets at Home – I woz lookin’ at all the taystee wabbits and hamsters by the till and I though “I wants you, I needs you, is my doggie right to haves you” – is not fair that I is not hallowed to pick up a wabbit wif me piggy lugs wen we goes shoppin’. Mummy Sue sez puttin’ the furry animals by the ’til is hencouraging houndie pester power! All me houndie friends in Essex is goody four-paws, but I’s got a good gang in Suffolk – me friend David got a proper hoodie and a swag ban and everyfing!
But then we gots found out – awwwww! Mummy Sue sed I wozn’t hallowed to go raidin’. I is the brains o’ the gang, o’ course, but maybe I shouldn’t have used mummy’s log-in to get in touch wif me friends – I SED I needs my own computer. So, laters gang…….. I’s need to find a Pets at Home next to a PC World……….
Me Holeeday Snaps
Oh, swans......
Bovvered, wot us, wif swans, don't make me larf....
See, we is such good hounds...
Lou doin' soopervisin'...
Is a hard life.....
So where's the pie then daddy Richard? An wot is in Whitsunday pie - I coulds fancy steak....
Lou's doin' chillin'....
Ohh look, it's jelly boy....
Mummy Sue sez this is the prettiest place on a canal anywhere - is ever prettier wif me in the pictchoor o' course...
Oh sure, it look like holeedays is relaxin' but I never get s a wink o' sleeps - I's doin' lookin' all day long...
I is not sure if this sofa is big enuff for two top girls....
Eight has an hadventures...
Wif seven hounds we's can do top holympic lookin'....
Top girl Susie....
We's havin' a commotion - on owr own island...
Uh Susie, I duzn't fink we's will all fit under Archie...
We's all tired but the deck isn't half big enuff for eight houndies - plenty of room for five tho'...
My babe Heidi wot we met on holeeday....
All of us boys fancied Heidi!
Sleepova' - do you know what - they's expected auntie Sarah to sleeps in that bed as well!!
That's better - me houndie friends haz gone home so I's can have two beds all to meself...
Me, Lou an' Ty havin' a bobble in Nottingham...
Ty is just lookin' - I woz asleep the whole time - so woz Lou - we is such good hounds....
I s'pose I duz get to sleep sumtimes....
Hu-dads is good for stoppin' the drafts....
They never gets my bed right....
That's better...
I's had to work so hard - this is me reedin' the river chart so's we duzn't get stuck on the mud...
Mind that weir mummy Sue....
Indigo Dreaming 