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Dog Blog: Lynx’s Diary

Posted by indigodream on 28 December, 2011

From Tuesday 20th December

A speshal houndie Chrissmis card wot we can eat - Ty steeled it and had a nibble, just to make sure it woz not poizon.....

It woz a nice day on Toosday before Chrissmas so me and mummy Sue walked right round our field “inspecting the estate” sez mummy Sue. Well, tha’ sounds very important, so I strutted round doin’ sniffin’ an’ weeing an’ looking.

We woz doin’ hinspectin’ when mummy Sue sed “Cor there’s a lot of rabbit droppings here – we’ve had an invasion of rabbits”

Well, I woz qwite hinterested coz I luves wabbits and I luves wabbit poo coz it looks like the raisins that mummy Sue put in the Chrissmis puds wot she made in November. So I asked mummy Sue…

“Coulds you make me a speshal Chrissmis pudding out of wabbit ‘raisins’ being as hooman raisins is poiznus to hounds?”

“No” she sed

“but wabbit poo is luvverly” I sed

“No it’s not” she sed

“But how do you know, mummy Sue?” I sed “you’s never tasted it, but I has – is good to eat and yous can roll in it and wen you smells like a wabbit the real wabbits get confoosed and come out their holes to play.”

“Good point” sed mummy Sue “I have never tasted and never will eat rabbit poo”

“So will you makes me a speshal wabbit ‘raisin’ Chrissmis pudding then?”

“No”…..

Ty woz scared of his prezent but he gots the hang of it 'ventooally...

Oh well, if she duzn’t wants to make me a pudding then I’s will just have to eat it raw like I normally duz – wot’s that mummy Sue “blah blah……..stop that you disgusting hound…..blah blah blah……..how can there be this many rabbits in the field when we’ve got three greyhounds on guard………..blah blah blah….”

I sumtimes fink that she duzn’t appreciate that we is retired greyhounds wot duzn’t do chasin’ wabbits for work,  for fun maybe, but never work…..

While I is on the subject of lushus stuff, sum of mummy Sue’s friends sent us a speshal houndie Chrissmas card wot we can eat – yep, a hedible Chrissmas card – woz a lot more delishus than paper Chrissmas cards but not as good as liver cake and heart risotto wot mummy Sue has been cookin’ speshally for us…….

Mummy Sue woz pretty bizzy cookin’ for Chrissmis so Richard took us out for long walks – we woz hexhausted, in facts, we woz so hexhausted that we didn’t even complain wen they tooks all the luvverly food away to Richard’s sister’s house – I meant, wots the point, their little doggies isn’t even allowed to eats proper food like wot we is.

But wen they gots home we hads luvverly leftovers an’ we had our presents – Lou had a parcel wif “Lou” written on it, and I had a parcel wif “Lynx” written on it and Ty had a parcel wif “Ty” written on it so it woz obvious that they woz all for me…..

I’s had already helped meself to one sqweeky toy wot looked like a sqwashed ferret then I helped meself to a squeeky toy wot looked like a cow wot had twisted itself in cow yoga class – mummy Sue sed I steeled them and I is a vandal. But honest, they woz just lyin’ there in the boot of her car so they must have bin for me. So I has had a good Chrissmas coz I gots all six sqweeky toys in MY bed where they belongs – even the big sqweeky teddy that mummy Sue bought speshally to be Ty’s new friend wot would help him to be brave. But he’s been brave anyway so all the toys is MINE – ha ha ha ha…..

I hopes that all me houndie friends wot has found their foreva sofa has a luvverly Chrissmis wif loads of luvverly pressies and I hopes that all me houndie friends wot is shiverin’ in the kennels finds their foreva sofas soon….

Mummy Sue, MUMMY SUE, Lou's got me prezent, well, she's got her prezent but it shoulds be mine.....

Tha's better - I's got me prezent...

This is the view from where I lives - Richard woz all hexcited coz of the colours but is all grey to me.....

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