Dog Blog: Henry Beanz’ Holidaze

Dear Mummi
Iz goin’ to send you sum posticardies soon, but I’z not lettin’ go of me h-phone – did you heer that sum dogs izn’t hallowed to text their hu-mums – Iz so sad that sum hounds is so deprived…
xxxx Henry B Beanz

Dear Step-mummi Sue

Iz notised that mummi has been on the blog and sez that she will tell you to stop me treetz if she hears Iz bin norty.

Well, I woz finking, how about if she dun’t hear that Iz bin norty, how about if we duz a deal, like you duzn’t tell me mummi what Iz bin up to and I duzn’t tell her wen youz bin a unfit step-mummy…

xxx HBB

Dear Henry

I’m shocked – are you suggesting that we deceive your mummy? Shame on you…

xxx Step-mummy Sue

Dear Step-mummi Sue

Oh no’s, I duzn’t mean actooally lying, more like not tellin’ the whole troof – likes wen you left the gate open, an’ acidently let Monty out, and he runned off…

xxx HBB

Dear Henry

Well, Monty only went for a poo in next door’s garden, and he came back home straight after – that’s not so bad…..

xxx Step-mummy Sue

Dear Mummi
Fis is Ollie modlin Lou’s jarmies – he finks they is stoopid, Lou finks they is stoopid – mummy Sue sez they is too small for a big puddin’ like me so she’s got the heatin’ goin’ 24/7 so I duzn’t get cold….I luffs my step-mummi 🙂

Dear Step-mummi Sue

Uh huh, so you duzn’t mind if I tells mummi that you woz in a total panic and runned up and down the road in your night shirt and no kni…

Ok Ok, you win, we’ve got a deal, we don’t tell mummi anything about anythin….

Ah, Henry, why are you texting me when you’re sitting in Richard’s armchair like, 3 feet away?

xxx Step-mummy Sue

Deer Step-mummi Sue

D’oh, barkin’ is so old-fashund – texts is THE dog-human talkin’ fing – you always knos exactly wot I’m sayin’ – Archie and Ollie likes to roo ‘n whine but youz not got a clue wot they is sayin’ duz you!

xxx Henry B Beanz