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Archive for December 15th, 2012

Dog Blog: Henry Beanz’ Holidaze…

Posted by indigodream on 15 December, 2012

This is a diary entry from 1st December ……

Deer MummiFis is me an' Archie an' Herbie an' Ollie perswadin' peepl to hadopt a greyhound - lots of peepl sed "They're lovely - can we take you four home?" sed peeple. But I sed "No fanks. we'z got a mumi an' a step-mummi but youz can be on me waitin' list but you haz to pass teh "treets" test first... xxx Henry B Beanz

Deer Mummi
Fis is me an’ Archie an’ Herbie an’ Ollie perswadin’ peepl to hadopt a greyhound – lots of peepl sed “They’re lovely – can we take YOU home?”. But I sed “No fanks, we’z got a mummi an’ a step-mummi, two houses and free boats, but youz can be on me waitin’ list coz I duzn’t have an arnty now that Sue haz bin promotid, but o’ course you haz to pass the “treets ‘n fuss” test first – we’z got very hi standards…
xxx Henry B Beanz

r_dogs-41-01Dec12

Deer Mummi
Fis is Herbie wot izn’t steelin’ food – we’z lurnin’ how to buy foodz – wif munny. Richard gived us munny coz wot we begged for Greyhoundhomer haz to go to houndz wot duzn’t have a mummi an’ a step-mummi…
xxx HBB

r_dogs-44-01Dec12

Deer Mummi
Fis is us NOT steelin’ a turkey -even tho they woz hanging’ right there, just by our nozes – we woz so goods – there woz cakes, an’ burgers an’ sarnies and evryfing just by our nozes and we never touched nuffink!
We iz model citzens – evrywun said “oh they’re so good”
Hur hur hur….
xxx HBB

r_dogs-46-01Dec12

Aaaw I TOLD you that Archie woulds get all the fuss – wotz about me – I’z hansum!

Dear Mummi Fis is me and step-mummi Sue - we woz so hungri wez had a good look at the hog roast - we's had lotz but we didn't do steelins.... xxx HBB

Dear Mummi
Fis is me and step-mummi Sue – we woz so hungri we’z had a good look at the hog roast – we’s had lotz – step-mummi Sue gave me her cracklins coz she duzn’t like cracklins – I luffs cracklins….
xxx HBB

Deer Mummi We'z dun a hole hour an' wen erywun Burnham on Crouch woz felled in luff wif us we wents to see out boat then we went home.. Iz hexhoorsted - hadventures is soooo turin'... xxx HBB

Deer Mummi
We’z dun a hole hour of perswadin’ an’ wen erywun Burnham on Crouch woz felled in luffs wif us, we wents to see our boat then we went home..
Iz hexhoorsted – hadventures is soooo tirin’…
xxx HBB

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Dog Blog:Henry Beanz’ Holidaze

Posted by indigodream on 15 December, 2012

Wun, too, free...

Wun, too, free…

Deer Step-Mummi Sue

I knos that you is very sads coz Lou is at the rainbo bridge, but youz gotta look on the bright side – like, it duzn’t matter so much that you is rubbish at maffs any more..

Lots of luffs Henry B Beanz

Dear Henry

What are you going on about? How did you know I was rubbish at maffs, sorry, maths?

xxx (I think) Step mummi Sue

Deer Step-mummi Sue

Well, I knos that you is rubbish at maffs coz you haz a LOT of trubble countin’ to seven – likes wen you wents to bed and you sed “wun, too, free, fower, faive, six and sevin” then wen you heards a dog whinin’ you sed “your turn to let them out Richard” ……..only Herbie Beanz woz already outside wontin’ to cum in!!!!! But now you only haz to counts to six, wot shoulds be easy, even for YOU”

xxxx HBB

fower, faive, six, sevin - uh, 'cept youz counted me twice Step-mummi Sue...

fower, faive, six, sevin – uh, ‘cept youz counted me twice Step-mummi Sue…

Dear Henry

Well, Henry, there’s a few things:

a) I though we agreed that you weren’t going to tell mummi about me being an unfit mother

b) I CAN count to seven – I just thought that a black blanket heap on the floor was Herbie – I mean if mummi thinks I can’t even count to seven she’ll never let you all come to stay again!

xxx Step-mummi Sue

Deer Step-mummi Sue

Oh no’ze mummi Sue, Iz not breaking’ our deal, I’z not sed anyfink about you bein an unfit muvva – I’z just tellin’ mummi about how you iz not very good at maffs….

Lots of luffs, Henry B Beanz

HENRY B BEANZ……

Uh oh, I’z here Step-mummi Sue, wots you shouting for…

You are in so much trouble young man – I CAN count to six, so there was no need to scrag Herbie over a chewstick, putting him in doggie hospital and taking us down to five hounds!

Mumble mumble grumble mumble…

What was that Henry Beanz?

Herbie started it, he steeled my chewie, wots not on….

That’s no excuse Henry Beanz, next time just let him have your chewie, then come and ask me for a new one – simple, geddit?!!…

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