Me pals, Iz a poor houndie wot has bin forced to have lots of hadventchewers – I hates hadventchewers – Iz bin to the vet, lots, an’ on the boat, lots, an’ mummy Sue boughts me a new fing…..
Anyhoo, on Sundie, mummy Sue sed “come on Ty, let’s have a lovely walk along the towpath”
“nu-huh” I sed “Iz will just stay in me bed fanks”
“Afraid not” she sed “you’re coming for a walk”
Fis is me bein’ crooelly forced to have a hadventure – an’ I dudzn’t have me coat on eifer!
So she dragged me out an’ I woz a scaredy wuss jellyboy…
“What on earth are are you so scared of?” sed mummy Sue
“Well” I sed, takin’ a hooge breaf…
“there’s joggers wot go “schlup schlup”
…an’ bikes wot goes “ting ting”
…an’ ducks wot goes “wark wark”
…an’ swans wot goes “hizzzzz”
…an’ burds wot goes “tweet tweet” then they pecks you to def”
I took anuvva breaf ……
” an’ there’s cars wot go beep an’ trains wot go “c-lunk c-lunk” an..”
Mummy Sue sed “Oh Ty, you are silly – it’s not logical, I mean, you’ve never been pecked to death by birds”
Logic, huh, I sawed the movie wif burds wot went mad, and then she sed “Tell you what Ty, how about I get you a new snug bed for the boat – that can be your safe den then you won’t be scared any more….”
But mummy Sue, a bed’s a new fing – I hates new fings…
Fis is me new bed – Iz dun walking round it for 10 minits then I dun sniffin it for 10 minits now Iz tryin’ it out but me feets are outside so’s I can run away if me bed viciously ataks me….
Okey dokey, me bed hazn’t ataked me yet so maybe I cuds risk a little snooze….
Mmmmm – it is qwite cumfy….
Ooh look, if I moves me bed like fis then it’z like a big wall an nuffink scary can gets me – specially if I snuggles down like fis….Mummy Sue, can me an’ me bed jus’ stay here an neva eva hav an adventchewer eva agen….
Indigo Dreaming 