Deer me pals
Fis is Ollie licking a i-scream – Mummy Sue sed she didn’t get pics of me eatin’ a i-scream coz I swallered it hole before the camera cud focus – cheeks…
The wevver haz bin too hot for houndies, so we’s bin havin i-screams, wot I thought sounded a bit scary but wot is delishus and makes me slobber, wot is good for waterin’ plants – cept mummy Sue sez her foot is not a plant and duzn’t need any slobber….
Now at home we only gets leftova i-screams, but sumtimes wen we’s out we gets a hole cone an sumtimes we gets a hole mini-magnum wif wite chocklit, wot is safe for houndies – cept don’t tell the vet coz he sez we shud just have kibble and he sez mad fings like “put your leftovas in the bin not in the dog” – my vet iz no fun at all.
Anyhoo, I luffs i-screams an’ one day it woz soooo hot that Richard gave me a hole mini-magnum. Now Is eats i-screams like a propa hound, like “down in one” – cept that mummy Sue dun yellin “where’s the i-scream stick gone” – uh oh, Richard woz in BIG trubble coz he let go of the stick an I swallered it hole. Mummy Sue woz in a panic but the emergency vet just laffed down the phone an sed I wuds probably just digest it; or maybe it wuds come out the uvva end, you know….
Mummy Sue woz wonderin’ wether the BBC wud like to do a poo-watch programme – wuds be fascinatin’…
Anyhoo, I finks I dun digestin’ the stick coz I woz fine and me tummy know that it woz cuvvered in i-scream so gobbled it all up. I thought that mummy Sue wud lurn from fis and just give me i-scream wif sticks coz me digestshun can cope, but she’s gon sooper-careful now and duzn’t let me swaller the stick, wot is very borin’..
But it duzn’t matter, coz I can still gobble i-scream cones an’ we wents to a houndie party where they did “houndie 99s”, wot is like a hooman 99 ‘cept with a sosidj intead of a flake. Persnally, I cuds have qwite fancied a flake but pipple say we’z not sposed to have choklit cept in hexeptional wotsits, like wen they leaves a bit right there on the table wif me name on it. I founds that if I moves the cone so the pointy end is in me mouf, I can swaller one hole – Iz so clever…
Mummy Sue just sighs – “why can’t you be more like Ollie” she sez, but he just licks his i-screams like a gurl – huh!
You iz soooooo slooooow Ollie..
Ollieeee – can I haffs your cone? Yous nevea gonna finish it at fis rate…
Haffs you not finishid yets????
OLLIEEEE?!?!
