Christmas Special
In an idyllic village nestled in the heart of the Suffolk countryside, Step-mummy Sarah is enjoying cuddles with her hounds Miffy, Big Sid, Henry, Archie, Herbie, Eddie and Bertie AND step-hounds Ty and Ollie AND foster hound Smoothie (aka Snoops). The Christmas goodies are safely locked away in the specially constructed hound-proof vault and peace reigns 0ver the unsuspecting morning….
So Ty, are you sorry that you took the tablets or are you just sorry that the vet took them from you??
“Step-mummy Sarah?”
“Yes, Step-daddy Andy?”
“Look what I’ve just found in Ty’s bed….”
“Hmmm, that looks like an empty tablet pot…..ha, the things these hounds use as toys……….hang on a minute, this pot has Ollie’s name on it – it’s empty – it WAS full, who’s had Ollie’s tablets?”
“It was in Ty’s bed….”
“But that’s circumstantial evidence – Ty might not have eaten them, it could have been Herbie or Henry – they’re terrible thieves. But then again, Ty has previous – he loves stealing Ollie’s tablets – hmmm, better ring mummy Sue…”
………………………………………………………………………………….
“Ah, er, Mummy Sue, how many Rimadyl tablets were there in Ollie’s tablet pot….”
“About 20….”
“Ah right, how interesting, I’ll just be off then…”
“Hang on a minute – there’s only one reason you’d asking – Ty has stolen Ollie’s tablets – AGAIN! Am I right?”
“Ah, er, yes, we think so, though it could be Herbie or Henry”
“Oh Step-mummy Sarah, don’t be silly, of course it’s Ty, get him to the vet ASAP…”
………………………………………………………………………………….
“Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la la la la laaaaah…..”
“Why are you singing, Mr Stand-in vet?”
“Well, Nurse, you know the legend of Mummy Sue, the best client a vet could ever have?”
“But surely that’s all it is, Mr Stand-in vet, just a legend….”
“Aha, Nurse, Mummy Sue is REAL. I have here a ream of Ty’s medical notes faxed through from Mr Hero Vet, Ty is HERE, in Suffolk, he’s our client now – we’ll all be eating goose this Christmas”
“Mr Hero Vet? You mean he’s real too?”
“Stop swooning Nurse. Yes, Mr Hero Vet is real but Ty is on his way here – accidental overdose with anti-inflammatory tablets; this could be our lucky day nurse, our chance to be heroes too”
Later that hour….
“Ok, get the emetics, activated charcoal, IV fluids, blood creatinine, overnight kennel and the BIG BILL….”
“Uh, Mr Stand-in Vet, Step-mummy Sarah CAN hear you….”
“Oh, sorry, got carried away there. What’s this? We’ve got the tablets out before there’s been any significant absorption? Ty can go back home? His blood tests show that he’s got away with it, AGAIN!”
Lucky Ty – you got away with it again! Let this be the last time eh?
“That’s brilliant news Mr Stand-in Vet”
“But nurse, this was supposed to be my chance to be a hero, for Mummy Sue to use me as her vet of choice, for me to buy a Bentley, for me to….”
“Uh, Mr Stand-in vet, Step-mummy Sarah IS still here you know….”
Meanwhile, at another vet in another county….
“Mr Hero Vet, do we have Ty’s blood results? Is he in the clear? Was Mummy Sue being totally paranoid?”
“Ah, Nurse Cool Aloof, the results are too high to be normal, but too low to be a definitive tumour marker – we may have a micro-tumour at work – too small to be scanned but big enough to be changing Ty’s blood chemistry. Oh I do love a mystery….”
“Or it could be that Ty is just ‘special’, you know, like being abnormal is just normal for him?”
“We can’t risk it Nurse Cool Aloof, if Mummy Sue thinks Ty is not right we’ll carry on until he IS”
“Hmm, that heroic pose, Mr Hero Vet, your upraised hand is very near to the safe – with a gazillion more blood tests to come, does that mean we can have our Christmas Bonus…?”
“Yes it does, Nurse Cool Aloof, Ty is our client now and forever……”
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
To the followers of our silly veterinary soap opera, our thanks; we wish you a happy and prosperous New Year – we’ll be back in 2014, because no matter how serious it looks, we can usually find a lighter side….
Indigo Dreaming 