Dog Blog: You only live twice…

Archie’s Secret Dossiers #1: infiltration techniques

The name’s Bean, Archie Beanz – code name 008 – 8th in the service and licensed to thrill. My two lives? Fine racing hound now international playboy and adventurer – at your service…..laydeez…

10.30pm: “Step-mummy Sue, can I sleep in your bed?”…No

11.30pm: “Step-mummy Sue, can I sleep in your bed?”…No

12.30am: “Step-mummy Sue, can I sleep in your bed?”…No

1.30am: “Step-mummy Sue, can I sleep in your bed?”…No

2.30am: “Step-mummy Sue, can I sleep in your bed?”…”Richard, can Archie come up on the bed”….”Sorry Archie, my husband won’t let you sleep with me”

3.30am: “Step-mummy Sue, can I sleep in your bed?”…No

4.30am: “Step-mummy Sue, can I sleep in your bed?”…No

5.30am: “Step-mummy Sue, can I sleep in your bed?”…No

6.30am: “Step-mummy Sue, can I sleep in your bed?”…No

7.30am: “Step-mummy Sue, can I sleep in your bed?”…”OK, Richard’s getting up so now you can have the bed” – YIPEE!

Later that day…….”Step-mummy Sue, can I sleep in your bed?”…”YES, I can’t be doing with you asking every hour, come on up”

Hmm, snuggle cuddle, push Richard against the wall, pin Step-mummy Sue’s shoulder with my head so she can’t move – result!

Archie’s Secret Dossiers #2: Escape Techniques

1. Find naive dog walker e.g. Richard or other boater who’s used to labradors/collies

2. Walk nicely to lull naive walkers into false sense of security

3. Persuade naive walker that mummy Sarah’s instruction “never ever let this dog off the lead under any circumstances” is a complete slander upon your good character

4. When let off the lead, run for long distances – return when tired/hungry/when the naive walkers have turned an interesting shade of purple

A good agent is always vigilant – I’m the only hound that saw this bridge coming!

No matter how big the adventure, there’s always time for lurve…

Enemy Agent – he was eyeing up our bacon sandwiches – let’s have some barking, Bertie…

007, Henry (has) Beanz – no longer an active agent – look he’s even allowed his sofa to be invaded…

Agent 009 – Herbie Beanz – specialist skills: food theft & bin raiding

Agent 011: Big Bertie Beanz – the gang’s muscle – not a 00 – we’re special…

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Me and “the muscle” – see our bullet-proof jackets – not the most stylish but “M” insisted…

Senior Agent 004, Monty, sadly passed away this week after many years of distinguished service.  http://www.dogsontour.blogspot.co.uk/2008/06/monty-dog.html Run Free Monty

 

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