Dog Blog: Ty’s doings….

Deer me Pals

Fis is me down the pub – Aunty Jill sez I brave but reelly Iz hexhaustid!

Mummy sez that if I wantz to be a dog wot blogs, I needs to have hadventchewers….

“Hadventchewers?” I sed “hows about I be a dog wot duzn’t blog then I duzn’t need hadventchewers”

“Well, Ty, people do love you and they do like to read about your doings so it would be a shame if you didn’t blog”

“But mummy Sue, me fans fink it’s hexciting wen I has sardeens for tea – I duzn’t need hadventchewers” I sed “Anyhoo, we’z had Henry an Archie and Herbie an Eddie an Big Sid an even Bigga Bertie round for a sleepova last weekend – cant’s they just blog about their adventchewers?”

“Well, they might, but sorry Ty, you’ve got some adventures lined up – I hope blogging about them would make you enjoy them more” she sighed

“MUMMY SUE, youz bin my Mummy almost foreva and Iz NEVA luffed an hadventchewer and Iz NOT gonna start now” I sed wif me dominant dog face on…

But it woz no good, we’z got dragged off to have adventchewers – I shud have tried me pafetic face…

Furst, I had to go in the car – I qwite likes the car coz itz full of me favrit duvits; but if Iz in the car then it means Iz going sumwere so Iz dun me best Jellyboy and the car dids shake! Mummy Sue sed “stop that – no wonder my suspension’s gone!”….

The car tooked us to a show, wif tents, an’ boats – I qwite like tents, wot feels safe, but I hates boats – I didnt’s have to go croosing tho and I got lots of cuddles. It woz odd tho, coz there were lots of uvver houndies there – houndies, at a boat show – WOT?

THEN we had to go an see Aunty Jill an Uncle Graham – on a boat – MUMMY SUE! I mets Baxter an Muttley – Baxter wonted to do sexy time on me leg so I wents “Grrrrrrr” then Ollie tooks all the dog beds an wen Muttley wonted his bed Ollie wents “Grrrrrrr” – Mummy Sue sed we woz norty but Aunty Jill sed we woz just bein’ hassertive, wot is gud. Then Daisy cat wot lives on the boat came an give us a cat look fru the window but we cudn’t be bovvered ‘cept for Ollie liftin’ one ear – Mummy Sue sez we’z a dysgrayce!

THEN, after the boat we wents to the pub, but we cudn’ts be bovvered to diss the pub cat; the pub woz nice coz we hads carpit to lie on wif our sheepies but the chef cudn’t cook us a sosidj – we hads to make do wif ham an chippy leffovers. Maybe next time, Mummy Sue cuds teech the cheffy how to cook sosidjes – is not hard….

Huh, fis is Ollie bein’ perfick in the park….

THEN we wents to a hotel, wot is a room wif beds in – wot woz ok; but ges wot, there woz lots of rooms wif beds an there woz uvva pipple. Lots of the pipple woz drunk and sed “I lost money on him hur hur hur” wot woz a cheek. It woz too much an I woz hexhausted so mummy Sue put sum nice duvets wot smelled of dog so we cuds sleep. I wozn’t too sure about hotels but in the morning we wents down and there woz a brekfust buffit! Iz neva seen a brekfist buffit before – there woz bacon an sosidj an ham an chiz an eggs an toast an evryfing. Mummy Sue sed we wozn’t hallowed to help ourselves so me an Ollie had to order wot we wonted. I had bacon sarnies an sosidjis – lots of sosidjis. Ollie duzn’t like sosidjis but he luffs chiz so he had LOTS of chiz for brekfist. We woz so full, we hads to lie down an have a big snooze wile Mummy Sue reads the papers. Iz just about got used to the hotel wen Mummy Sue sed “off we go”

I hopeds we woz goin’ home but we went to the park – I hates the park – I dun standings and wotchins an jellyboy tremblins; perfick, Ollie, dun paddlin an lyin’ down and looking cute – huh! Iz just about had enuff wen mummy sed “off we go…”

This time we hads to go to a strange garden wif lots of uvva greyhounds an greyhound mummies an daddies – they woz everywere – I dun hidinn’s unda the table, wot woz nice. Sum pipple sed “aaaaw Ty, come on boy, everyone loves greyhounds here – come out for a cuddle” but I woz qwite happy under me table. Wen Mummy Sue sed “let’s go” I woz afraid that there wud be more scary hadventchewers but I gots in the car an snoozed on me duvit and wen I woked up we woz HOME. I luffs home…

After all me hadventures, I sed to mummy Sue “ENUFF”……

I mades a big nest of duvits an I buried meself in it an I tolds mummy Sue “Iz neva leavin this bed eva”…

Me an Ollie woz hexhausted ater our adventchewers so we mades a big nest on Mummy Sue’s bed and we is neva, eva leavin’ it eva agen (cept for dinna, an treets, an wen mummy Sue wants the bed…)

“Not even for your dinner?” she sed

“well maybe for me dinna – if its a nice dinna…”

“It’s very nice, with chicken AND sardines”

“Ok, maybe I cuds get up for me dinna…”

“And how about this nice bit of corned beef filled with cream cheese?” she sed

“ooh, that sounds nice……bleugh, wots fis crunchy fing mummy Sue, iz it a……tablit?”

“It’s on a little one” she sed “just focus on the nice beef and cheese”

“Oh no, mummy Sue, that is just too sneekies – is not a treet if there’s a tablit in it”……

“Fair enough” she sed “how about a bit of ice cream – the crunchy bit is just a nut, honest”

nom nom nom….

Fis is me having a snooze after me buffit brekfust – hotel brekfusts is qwite nice…

A houndie garden party – you cants see me coz I iz hidin’ – Iz so clever..

Stoopid houndie – even I knows that the bukkit of water is for drinkin’ not paddlin’…