Dog Blog: Ty’s doings….

Sunday 26th August

This is me bein’ a bit wurried….

Happy burfday to me!

I is seven today -I hopes that bein’ seven is better than bein’ six, coz I hads the wurstest day of my hole entire life yesterdie..

Mummy Sue and Richard gots out of bed qwite early on Saturdie – I woz reely happy coz this oosually meanz that they is going out and I gets to lie on their bed all day long. I woz just rearranging the pillows and scrapin’ the duvet into a proper heap when I heard the words “Ty come”.

“Uh oh” I forts, that means they wants me to come for a hadventure, I duzn’t like hadventures so I went and hids in me safe den in the spare bedroom….

But they hinsisted

“I duzn’t want to cum” I sed “I coulds just stay at home an’ anooze til you come back”

“Sorry Ty” sed mummy Sue “we’re going to be out for hours and hours, we can’t leave you by yourself that long – you just have to come”

Oh no, I hads to put my collar on and get into the boot of the car – I duzn’t like the car becoz it takes me places wot are scary – like everywhere wot isn’t home…

Wen the car stopped we woz in Lundun – I duzn’t like Lundun – it’s big an’ noisy’ an’ is full of people.

We wents to the dog park, wot has a big fence so we gets let off the lead – I likes bein’ off the lead coz I can run straight into the bushes to hide. Mummy Sue has to bend over double to get me out, an’ her hair gets stuck in the branches – har har har, serves her right, I TOLD her that I duzn’t like the dog park….

This is wen I woz reeely mis’rable…

Then, THEN, we goes on the boat – I duzn’t like the boat coz it takes us to scary places wot izn’t home – I snuck into me boat safe den and pushed me head under the sofa – I may haz to be on the boat,but I duzn’t have to look at stuff..

We woz on the boat for ages – it went ups and downs coz we woz on the river and the engine dun growlin’ – ooooooooooh – then, THEN, I sawed a bright flash….

“OH NO” I fort “the sky is fallin'”…

And then it did – there was a hooge CRASH right on top of me hed – it woz funder wot went on an’ on an’ on foreva. Mummy Sue shut us inside the boat in case we panicked and jumped in the water. Are you kiddin, mummy Sue, go out in that rain AND that funder? I may be fick but I ain’t stoopid! I pushed meself a bit more under the sofa and Ollie pushed himself up to me. Mummy Sue sed we woz such tremblin’ jellyboys that we made the whole boat shake….

Wen gots back to where the boat lives, I wonted to go bak to me proper home, but I couldn’ts move from under the sofa coz the sky woz still fallin’ – it woz fallin’ for ages – mummy Sue sed there woz a hawful lot of sky to fall……

An’ this is me wen the sky did do fallin’…

When the sky stopped fallin’ I fort we could go to proper home at last, but then some people came. I duzn’t like it wen people cumes to vist, unless they gives me a big fuss o’ course. But I didn’t gets any fuss at all – the peoples wouldn’t crawl under the sofa to rub my belly, oh no, they sat ON the sofa an’ Ollie sat on them – he gots all the fussings – is not fair, I deserves a fuss – I woz havin’ a ‘orrible day!

Eventooally the people left and I had to go to the dog park, again, and the car, again, (big Ty sigh) then finally we woz home – I runned straight up to me safe den and I didn’t come down ’til mummy Sue gave me some tuna fish for me tea then I runned back up to bed…

So, today is me burfday – mummy Sue sed “happy birthday, Ty, what would you like as a treat? Shall we have a trip to the beach? You’re the birthday boy so it’s your choice”

I gived her me biggest Ty sigh yet….

“I wants to stay at home and sleep on your bed all day long and I duzn’t wants to go anywhere, and I duzn’t want the sky to fall, or any flash bangs or peoples to call or anyfink”

“Ok” she sed “how about some special birthday food then”

I puts me sad pafetic face on an’ sed “well, I’s not sure if I can eats after the wurstest day of me life yesterdie, but maybe I coulds manage sum hot chikkin, or some beef stoo or maybe haggins like wot Lynx used to have for his burfday…”

“Ok” sed mummy Sue and went down to the shops to get me chikkin, haggis and meat for stoo….

I had the bestest day eva – I’s bin snoozin’ at home all day long and I’s had lots of treets – there wus no flash bangs at all tho’ we did have sum viziturs – they woz wurried becoz they founds a greyhound wanderin’ on the road and fort it was one of ours! But mummy Sue knew that we woz all safe inside, so that woz ok – the viziturs had a greyhound of their own so mummy Sue sed “Ty, come an’ say hello” – I done lookin’ at the viziturs round the front door – they woz givin’ Ollie a big fuss but I wozn’t sure, so I sed “Hi” and then runned inside…

After the scary viziturs had gone, mummy Sue sats down and rubbed me tummy – “You know, Ty” she sed “although you are the baby of the pack, now that you’re seven, which is the same age as me in dog years, maybe you could be a bit more grown up and not be quite such a big scaredy wuss jelly boy, what do you reckon?”

“Huh” I sed “mummy Sue, you is always sayin’ that just becoz you is middle aged it doesn’t mean that you have to grow up, so I duzn’t see why I should eifer……”

Ollie woz very brave an’ did ‘lympic lookin’ like wot Lynx used to do – until the sky started fallin’ – then he came to be a wussy jellyboy wif me….

Lou has forgotten how to lie on the sofa – oh no!!!