Dog Blog: Ty’s Doings..

Deer me pals

Fis is me favrit bed – if I cud just stay here foreva, it wudn’t matter that me toe woz broked..

Iz not bin ritin coz mummy Sue sez Iz not dun any doin’s to rite about. But Iz got lots to say coz me life is too bizzy, an Iz a poor houndie wot never gets enuff rest…..

Iz broked me toe munfs ago, an I woz a poor hobblin’ hound wot shudn’t leave his bed, but mummy Sue kepts takin’ me to the vet – eventooally the vet sed he had to take me toe away…

“But that’s MY toe” I sed,

“You’re better off without it” sed mummy Sue, wot woz feelin’ broke on account of the bills from me broked toe getting hinfected all the time….

Iz had to go an have anna’s fetic – I duzn’t mind anna’s fetic coz mummy Sue makes them give me flooid wots makes me betta quicka. Wot I duzn’t like is bein’ in hospital wif labradors wot go “OoooooooOoooooooooooOooooooooooooOooooooooooOoooooooooooooooooooooOoooooooooooooooooooooOooooooooooooooooooooo” foreva and eva.

Wen I got home I had to have a big wee coz of the flooids, but I woz a bit wobbly an mummy Sue woz wurried I mites wee on me own bandij so I hads to wear a silly boot; it woz all too much so I wents to bed – Iz neva eva leaving me bed again…

‘Cept I had to go back to the vet, like every free days, wot is the same as all the time; and me fut woz in a silly bandij for 2 hole weeks, which is the same as foreva…

On the uvva hand, mummy Sue sed I didn’t have to do boats while me fut woz in a bandij – wot woz good, coz I hates boats.

So wen the vet took me bandij off Iz chewed me stitches an the bandij went back on; then the bandij made me sore so it cum off but  Iz hads to wear the “ring of shame” an’ a boot an a sitcky plaster. But Iz qwite clever and got the hole lot off wen mummy Sue wents to the pub and Iz had a good chew me stitches agen – oooh it woz so gud. Wen Mummy Sue got in from the pub and saw me foot, she made sum funny faces – I spect she woz happy coz Iz proved how clever I is. She woz so bizzy mutterin’ “stupid hound how am I going to explain that to the vet, I promised him I’d be stop you licking blah blah blah….”  that she cut her own finger while making ma an’ Ollie a chikkin dinna – it woz a disgrayse – we hads to wait 20 minits for her finger to stop bleedin’ before she put our dinna down for us. Mummy Sue is ok, but she duzn’t kno how to prioriritise…..

After the vet hads given mummy Sue a lectchewer about how I musn’t chew me own foot, she put her nasty face on – ooooh noooooo, Iz had to wear me muzzle – mummy Sue sed it makes me look like a proper racer; Ollie sed it made me look feroshus; me pals thought I lookd pafetic, so eventooally mummy Sue sed I didn’ts have to wear it durin’ the day if I promised not to lick me stitches – hur hur hur,

“O course mummy Sue” I sed but wen I wents to lick I gots her nasty face and her nasty voice “NO” she sed – uh, oh, can’t argue wif the nasty face…

But even tho I haszn’t licked at all for a hole week, promise, the vet sez me foot’s not right (wot woz confoozing, becoz it IS me right foots – huh, call himself a vet), so Iz got me bandij back wif sum hunny – nommmm hunny….

Mummys Sue is very sad that me foots isn’t betta but Iz ok wif it – afta all, I hazn’t gone boatin’ for a hole munf – aroooooo….

I woz very tired afta Anna’s fetic but mummy Sue sed she cudn’t sees any difference wif me normal snoozy self…

Oooh nooo – the “ring of shame” – mummy Sue is too soppy to use the “cone of shame” coz she finks I’d break me neck – I’z dun me best to convince her and banged me head agenst the wall for 5 minits then she took the cone off – hur hur hur…