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Dog Blog: Holby Casualty ER Emergency Ward 10 House Vet…

Posted by indigodream on 23 December, 2012

Episode 3…

Holla El Disho Vetto I know that Herbie needs his own private hospital ward with special nursing - this is his day bed - is that ok?  Thanks, Step-mummi Sue

Holla El Disho Vetto
I know that Herbie needs his own private hospital ward with special nursing – this is his day bed – is that ok?
Thanks, Step-mummi Sue

“Mr Hero Vet, there’s terrible news…..”

“What is it Miss Sexy Nurse?””

“Step-mummi Sue’s guests hounds are going home – we’re doomed – we’ll be out of business by the end of the week – I’ll have to go back to life as a lap-dancer!”

“What’s thees? Go outta beezness?”

“Oh El Disho Vetto, Step-mummi Sue’s guests are going home – we’ll have no patients…”

“Calm down everyone – ok, it is a blow that three of her guest hounds have gone home, especially when Monty had gone down with a bladder infection  – we could have made a fortune in tests, antibiotics – aaahhh……….”

“Er, Mr Hero Vet, MR HERO VET…”

“Sorry, must have dropped off there, I was dreaming about Monty, where was I, right, yes, all is not lost – Herbie Beanz is so badly injured that he can’t go home yet – Step-mummi Sue s going to nurse him for a while and don’t forget, she does still have Ollie and Ty to keep us in business; Now, let’s check the plan….Miss Sexy Nurse, do we have enough dressings and bandages? El Disho Vetto, have you been practising your dramatic gestures – you know, the tragic expressions, the lifted eyebrow, the clutching of the head in your hands? Yes? Good – let’s go to work…”

“What about me, Mr Hero Vet?”

“Aah yes, Nurse Cool Aloof, I wasn’t going to involve you in this one”….

Dear Mr Hero VetI know it seems a bit mean to complain when you are doing a sterling job of Herbie's daily bandage changes, but really, 'blue and green should never be seen' - I would be greateful if you could change back to the appropriately seasonal and festive red and green bandages, as put on byt the stylish El Disho Vetto... Yours Sincenerly, Step-mummi Sue ps. This is Herbie's night bed - I hope it is satisfactory...

Dear Mr Hero Vet
I know it seems a bit mean to complain when you are doing a sterling job of Herbie’s daily bandage changes, but really, ‘blue and green should never be seen’ – I would be grateful if you could change back to the appropriately seasonal and festive red/green combo, as put on by the stylish El Disho Vetto…
Yours Sincerely, Step-mummi Sue
ps. This is Herbie’s night bed – I hope it is satisfactory…

“Well, I think that’s a mistake, Mr Hero Vet, if Step-mummi Sue is bringing Herbie in every day, and he’s already been licking his wounds, I’m the only one that can make her feel properly guilty and punish her by making her life awkward, like asking her to come in three times a day rather than twice….”

“Oh Nurse Cool Aloof, you can’t punish Step-mummi Sue, she’s been through so much, and she does spend an awful lot of money here…”

“Did I give you permission to speak, miss student Sexy Nurse?”

“Now now ladies, I think that Miss Sexy Nurse is right – Step-mummi Sue needs delicate handling – you know how fast she is with the “feedback” if we’re not 100% at all times…”

“Mr Hero Vet, I strongly object, are you sure Step-mummi Sue’s up to the job? Surely she needs more discipline….”

“Nurse Cool Aloof, if anyone’s up for the job, it’s Step-mummi Sue….”

…………….

“Hello, emergency hotline, Miss Sexy Nurse speaking…what’s that, Herbie’s squiggled out of TWO anti-lick collars….he’s chewed his bandages….wound oozing…uh huh….pedigree suggests strong relationship with Houdini’s dog….yes, I can see that’s a problem….can you stop him from licking overnight….with a muzzle…ok….do your best”…

“El Disho Vetto, that was Step-mummi Sue, Herbie’s managed to get at his wounds – again”

“Mierda! What ees Step-mummi Sue’s phone number….”

“Holla, Step-mummi Sue – chew know where the naughty step is…..”

"See, Nurse Cool Aloof, if anyone can cure a dog with good food then it's Step-mummy Sue!"

“See, Nurse Cool Aloof, Step-mummi Sue is very disciplined – that bowls is full of everything a hound could want!”

3 Responses to “Dog Blog: Holby Casualty ER Emergency Ward 10 House Vet…”

  1. Greygal said

    I would just like to point out to all blog readers that the decision to leave Herbie Houdini Beanz with step mummy Sue is down to a) him being more easily quarantined at Sue’s house, b) the advisability of continuity of care from El Disho Vetto (and I’ve met him and he is disho and then some), and c) the need to help Sue with her vet addiction, and absolutely nothing to do with my completely callous dereliction of duty and rubbish nursing skills.

  2. indigodream said

    I sincerely apologise for any aspersions cast in Gregal’s direction – she is an exemplary greyhound mum – I was angling to keep Monty but Henry scragged the wrong dog 😉

  3. Greygal said

    But seeing as you’re set up as the specialist greyhound convalescent home, I’m sure a scragging can be arranged…nothing too serious, just enough to demand a personal sofa and/or private stinky dog beds’ nest. Monty would love it!

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